Saturday, August 25, 2012

Say caviar

Me: If I won the lottery I'd be live on a boat and be a degenerate for three years. I'd be like, "Let's have caviar for dinner!"

Guy: You don't eat caviar.

Me: But I would say it!

Friday, August 17, 2012

You can't go back again

Guy: You ate an avocado?

Me: Yes.

Guy: You ate the whole avocado? Why didn't you save me some?

Me: How was I gonna save it? There's no turning back once you cut an avocado!